Facts of adolescent sexuality

1) Teenage pregnancy

2) Rape
-is number one crime against woman
-most rape are difficult to prove unless there are witnesses
-Rapists usually blame the victim
-Rape may last for long time
-Average of victims are around 18


3) AIDS

4)Youngesters around age 15-17

Principles of Conflict Resolution

1) Concentrate on the issue , NOT on personalities

2) Interview each person that involved in the conflict seperately

3) Maintain a calm voice , don't allowed yourself to feel insulted or shocked by the person as he is accusing all around

4) Look for win-win situation

5) Give the team to work out for the problems

6) Make the pronouns of we,us,ours instead of you,he,she



Junyan
Sick cat

Own style

I believe that every speaker have their own goals when delivering their speech. One of the goals is communicating the speech topic idea to the audience. There are many delivery styles that are used for different speakers. For example, extemporaneous delivery style is the key to developing effective oral communication skills. Much of the meaning in oral communication is presented non verbally through vocal expression, gestures and body movement.

Extemporaneous speaker prepared and organized their outline but they don’t write it in verbatim or memorize. Preparing an outline helps the speaker to organize the main ideas of a speech and carefully plan to support material for each point without writing the presentation in essay form.

However, not everyone can present a speech in well organized fashion. Some speakers do mumble when delivering their speech. Hence, avoid unprepared speaking at all costs because it will leave a strong impression of a lack of professionalism.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

Sign Language

Sign language is a pattern presented in acoustic sound. It occurs when the pattern sent visually through manual communication, body language and lip patterns to convey meaning-form. Moreover, it reflects the combining of hand shapes, orientation and movement of the hands, arms or body, and facial expressions to express ideas from the speaker.

In America, the best known sign is the “I LOVE YOU” sign. It is an easily recognized sign which made by celebrities and politicians, and often spotted on t-shirts. The sign blends our hand shapes with the letters I, L and Y into one hand shape.

Although sign language takes time to learn, the benefit of it is very large. Furthermore, it is very useful and fun to learn.


By: Nadia binti Wahid

What organizations are looking for in prospective employees

1) Looking for people who are team players - Know how to coorporate in a team

2) Want people who have talent skills and mutil-skilled

3) They want people who have good management skills

4) Good communicator with good critical thinking skills

5)They want multidimensional people

Jun yan

Concept of happiness

1) They are generally optimistic , outgoing and friendly

2)They can distinguish happiness from pleasure

3) They do not confuse happiness with materialism

4) A call for positive and transcending person

5)Sense of well-being is deeply rooted in moral values

Jun Yan

Drama Queen . . .

What do you know about attention seeker? Well, humans are social creatures and need social interaction, feedback and validation of their value. However, a person who is emotionally immature has low levels of self-esteem, self-confident and consequently feels insecure. Thus, they will spend most of their lives creating situations in which they became the center of attention.

This attention-seeking behaviour is very common nowadays. Moreover, the person who has this behaviour is constantly doing things just to get other people’s attention and can be very annoying. They will say anything without thinking and keep telling you what they do and don’t do. Sometimes it is simply just immature.

In conclusion, you don’t have to behave like that just to get the center of attention. Just have self-confident in yourself and put away your low self-esteem.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

D O M I N A T O R

LEADERSHIP is not a simple property of the one person which is “the leader”, but rather it is a rich and diverse series of roles that are frequently shared by many people within a healthy group. We can think of leadership as anything that serves to move the group forward. Moreover, it can make the groups effective and prevent negative behavioural roles in group participants.

However, the negative behavioural backgrounds that participant bring to group situations is still occur. For example, dominator behaviour is one of the negative ways to block the roles of leadership.

Dominator can be defined as power to control or rule by superior authority. Those who have behaviour like this is trying to assert authority or superiority to manipulate the group or members of certain groups. This domination can take the form of praise to assert the status of supervisors or right to attention. It is also give directions authoritatively and interrupting contributions of others.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

Guidelines for Avoiding Common Mistakes of Intro and Conclusion

Do not start the speech immediately. Some people will start straight with the main idea without even greeting the audience. That is obviously due to feeling very nervous. Get up on stage, face the audience, take a deep breath (don't la until semput) and start your speech. There's no need to rush, remember. Relax.

Don't apologize for nerves or preface your introduction. If you forgot to state your point, just go on. There is no need to apologize to the audience. They won't even know if you did not tell them. After all, we the speakers are the ones who are giving out information to them, so they should be thankful for that!

Do not display discomfort or displeasure a.k.a do not show your 20 cent face while speaking. If you come up on stage with a sour face, who in the world would enjoy your entire speech? The audience would probably throw empty bottles and rubbish at your face.

Don't race away from the podium after the speech. That shows that you have low self-confidence. Take your own sweet time and ask the audience whether they have questions to ask or not.

Try your very best to avoid mistakes but if it is unavoidable, just smile and continue your speech as though nothing happened ;)

NUR RAQINAH BINTI RAZAK
B0900287



 

STEP 2 : ANALYZE THE AUDIENCE

In order to analyze the audience, there are several factors that you need to consider, such as cultural factors, age and income.

Cultural factors. This is rather a sensitive issue to some people. So, in order to avoid such conflicts, be careful with your choice of words. If you feel that the audience are getting offended by your speech, try changing the topic and not emphasize on it more. Riots can happen because of that.

Age. Logically, if you were about to give a talk to a bunch of kindergarten kids, would you give a talk about the country's economy growth? No, right? You might want to read them some storybooks or sing lullabies to them. Speak to your audience by using simple words; so that the message is conveyed clearer and is comprehensible.

Income. For some people, this topic is private and confidential. To them, it is not necessary to tell others how much are they getting per month. As for the rich ones, you guys should not talk about your income way too much to the lower class people as they might feel inferior. That ain't cool afterall, right?

Start analyzing and understanding your audience! ;)

NUR RAQINAH BINTI RAZAK

B0900287

Hello again =) STEP 1

It has been a while since I last posted on this blog (I'm so sorry sir!) You know why, right. Hehe.

Anyways, today's topic was Public Speaking Preparation. It is human nature to be afraid of speaking in public. I have that fear too. In fact, there was a time in my life when I couldn't even talk to people because I was so scared of rejection, and the memory of myself being the only one getting a C for English Oral Test is still fresh in my mind (the rest of my classmates either got an A or a B).All the negative thoughts that lingered in our minds are just ASSUMPTIONS THAT ARE NOT TRUE. All the "What Ifs" that we often ask ourselves too need to be discarded. So the question is, how do we prepare for public speaking?

Select topics. If it is a free speech, select topics that are close to your heart; the ones which you can "crap" intelligently. It is safer to do that because if the audience decides to ask difficult questions, at least you're prepared. Do as much research as possible so that you will understand the topic well and once you have delivered your speech, IT FEELS SO DAMN GOOD. Trust me on that.

Have a purpose. Decide on why do you need to speak publicly. Is it because you have to persuade or inform your audience about something? For instance, if you're lecturing, your motive is to inform or give out information to your students, rather than persuading them to study etc.

And there goes Step 1. Step 2 is on its way. =)

NUR RAQINAH BINTI RAZAK
B0900287

in a society of cooperation

we basically live in a society where we have to always be there and cooperate with people. cooperation is very important why because it helps one get a particular job perfectly. Cooperation has to be anywhere. Basically when we cooperate with other people it is merely in away of connecting with them. Everything has a connection in whatever we do that is why cooperation is needed.

by tan jun yan

what do friendships really mean??

when we talk about friendship there are so many things that cross our minds. firstly our frienship with ur friends and family. but what does it really mean?? friendship doesnt mean u hav to call the person everyday or every minute..its about being there for your friends at the most crucial times of their lives and not forgetting wgat was the main thing that brought this friendship about. that is why it is very important who we make friends with and how we maintain tht friendship.


by : tan jun yan

communication!

No..two way communication is way better!
Listen!

Better communication!!

Vanessa Bitature

...just how doI say this?

Sometimes we have to say somethings but the words to get them out are simply impossible to find.Is it the courage we lack that stops us from communicating exactly what we feel?Or is it the unwillingness to express something that may upset someone?It is difficult to want to say something but unable to bring it across.This feeling of inability to say something occurs between or among people who share a close relationship.
To get the hidden message across we sometimes show some body language that shows what we are feeling.For example,if a girlfriend is not happy with the behaviour of her boyfreind towards another female,she mayshow resentment towards the girl without necessarily having to say words like 'I don't like you!'She may also show insecurity in different ways like being clingy and not giving her boyfriend space or she might be the complete opposite and act rebellious and generally be a pain to her boyfriend.
Vanessa Bitature

Advantages of Early Maturation

Status within peer group rises considerably

Higher cognitive skills , heightened social awareness

Society treat them with more respect and equity

Heightened self-esteem

Mature people being treated as more adult , leads them to act more adult .


Jun Yan

Guidelines for weight-loss program

1)For eveyone

Start prevention and treatment programs as early as possible

Eat home as much as possible

Engage in physical activities

Make sure everyone eats breakfast

Encourage physical activities

Let your child talk about weight and height

Avoid eating out in public with others

Do count your calories

Spouses and friends can work together

Avoid drinking in public

Lose weight slowly . Do not rush .

Learn to drink caloie-loaded fluids


Jun Yan

The Importance of body language

By reading a person’s body language, we can actually accurately decode the person’s thoughts, emotions, or mood. People may tell lies but their body will silently and unconsciously give them away. Thus, knowledge of body language can help you know what your friends, family, boss, customer or anyone is trying to hide from you. You will also understand their feelings and thoughts better.


Besides, your own body language can also influence what other people may think or feel about you. If you do it right, you will be liked and trusted. But if you send the wrong signals - your business, career, relationships, and even self-esteem may suffer.


For instance, if you have a habit of touching your nose, people may think that you are lying. You might simply have that habit even when you're telling the truth, but people won’t know. They unconsciously interpret your gesture as untrustworthy and judge you based on your actions.


Why go through the trouble of being misinterpreted when you can avoid it? Understanding the meaning and uses of specific body gestures will allow you to change your approach and act only in ways that will result in maximum compliance.


Just imagine how much sales you will lose if your body language communicates dishonesty or offends your clients... without you being aware of it! But if you know how to use body language, you will be able to avoid sales pitfalls and convey body signals that make your customers say "yes!"


Body language is not only applicable in sales or business. You may also miss out on that important date or job opportunity just because your body language is unconsciously sending negative signals. That is why learning and knowing body language is a key component of your daily activities.

*credits to : http://store.kevinhogan.com/decodingbodylanguage.aspx

By : Tan Yong Wei

When arguments break out , guildelines for constructive quarreling

Guideline 1: Quarrel one thing at one time

- Drag out every conflict we/they had since Day One

Guildeline2: "Hit and Run"drivers are not allowed under any circumstances.

- You probably know what we are talking about even before we explain it .

Guildeline3: Keep your voice as calm as possible

- When we shout at people, we are deafening them . The other has to shout louder in self-defense if one  person shouts .

Guildeline4: Keep to the truth

- People who are quarreling thend to exaggerate their complaint or throw a red-herring lies into the argument.

Guildeline5: Don't go in to the blaming game

- Remember everyone is involved .

Guildeline6: Don't play silent game . Say openly and honestly

Emotional Impact Of Pronouns

Accusing " You " Statement

1) Your son misbehaved in school again. What are you going to do about it .

2) You never want to go anywhere with me

3) You didn't tell me you were going to work late .


Coorperative " We " Statement

1) Our son misbehaved in school again . What should we do about it?

2) We need to find things to do we can both enjoy

3) We need a better system of keeping each other informed when one of us is going to be late .



See the differences between " You" and " Us " ??


Jun Yan .

P R O M O T E R

A person who is an active supporter and advocate to promote their products is called promoter.

It is not easy to be a promoter. You have to be brave on facing any situations to sell your product. Furthermore, it takes a lot of encouragement to convince people that your product is good. Imagine that you have to promote your product in the hotel ballroom with 10,000 people in it staring at you. Will you be able to do it spontaneously without making any plans and getting nervous? An excellent speaker with good communication skills will most probably overcome this situation. Communication skills will lead you to success and people will respect and trust you on your product. You have to be organized, discipline and focused when you’re promoting. Argumentation may be occurred and you have to be prepared before promoting.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

Primary relationships and families

There are three types of relationships in primary relationships and families.

Traditional couples, can explain with “husband & wife”, “father & mother” or others.
Traditional couples mean a traditional relationship in term of couples; they must have relationship and live together.

Independents, they could be married in relationship but have their own life.
They may have relationship but they didn’t get into the life of each other.

Separates, they could be no married but live together.
They may don’t have relationship but still live together because they enjoy this type of life and the moment.

There are many type of primary relationship and families, we can choose any type that we like because we only will be well in the relationship we like.

By: Tan Yong Wei

Three types of friendship in interpersonal relationship

There are three types of friendship in interpersonal relationship.
That is, friendship of reciprocity, friendship of receptivity, and friendship of association.
In the other ways, there are the ways of mix in between a friendship.

Friendship of reciprocity is mean characterized by loyalty, self-sacrifice, mutual affection, and generosity.
This is mean the way of mix in two people between the friendship is two people are giver and taker.
Both of them are giving and receiving in the relationship.

Friendship of receptivity is mean imbalance of giving and receiving.
This mean the way of mix in two people between the friendship is one people is giver and one people is taker.
One of them always giving and the other always receiving in the relationship.

Friendship of association is mean no great loyalty, no great trust, no great giving or receiving.
This is mean the way of mix in two people between the friendship is two people are not giver and taker.
None of them are giving and receiving in the relationship.

Friendship of receptivity and friendship of association will unable to be long term relationship.
Because, this is an unbalance relationship, the people who always giving will tire in a day, and the people who always receiving will only know receive but don’t know how to give.
Sameness, none of them will give and receive, that mean they won’t have a relation.

In contrast, friendship of receptivity might be able to be long term relationship.
Because, this is a balance relationship in spite of their mentality or reflection
Two people in this type friendship will get a long term relationship.

By: Tan Yong Wei

Heart-throb

“The MALE must apologize immediately for causing the misunderstandings.”

Do you agree with the phrase?



I do not agree with the phrase at all. I think both sides should understand their partner well enough to avoid misunderstanding. However, if the misunderstandings appear in their life, I don’t think that the MALE must apologize immediately. Both sides should compromise instead of blaming on each other.

Relationships are not great all the time, but there are things that you can do to avoid a disaster in the relationship. For example,avoid jealous situations, never ever cheat, avoid lying and do have the communication key with your partner.

Many people think communication is not necessary, but it surely is important if you want the relationship to last.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

NonVerbal Communication

No Problem / Okay

Emoing / Angry

Hey / Hello / Nice to meet you

Praying to God / Blessing

Shut up / lower down your voice / keep quiet



Muacks Muacks , Non Verbal Communication
By , Jun Yan

Muacks Muacks

Would you tremble when i touched ur lips ?
Would you dance when i asked u to dance?
Would you cry if u saw me crying?
Would you run and never look back ?

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you die for the once you love ?
Would you save my soul tonight ?


And sometimes when we touch the honesty's too much
And i have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you till i die till we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

" Sometimes When We Touch "

Learn from The Past !

When we think about the past, sometimes it will remind us about the mistakes that we did. I do believe that everyone makes mistakes. No one goes through life without making any mistake and you can’t run away from it. When we think about it, sometimes we do feel regret, guilty or even dissatisfaction.

Thus, try to overcome this situation by accept the fact that you made a mistakes in the past. By accepting the mistakes, you will be able to avoid making the same mistakes again in the future. Furthermore, come up with solutions to enhance your life. For example, if you’re having problems with your parents or lover and you keep fighting with them, try to find a way to make things better. Invite them to your house for lunch and have a proper conversation. Don’t talk about any topic that will bring out anger to both sides. Instead of having egocentrism, keep your mind open to accept what people would say and learn how to forgive them.

However, keep in mind that making mistakes is a natural part of life. You can’t really succeed without making some mistakes along the way. Sometimes it helps us to gain wisdom and experience. Even though you have to face a lot of problems, it may lead you to make a better decision in life and stand up for your rights.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

Telepathy

The term telepathy is derived from Greek origin where the prefix 'tele' means distant and the suffix 'patheia' means feeling.Telepathy is the communication of messages between minds without the use of external communication channels like speech and body language.

Telepathy is used during magic tricks where a magician or psychic has the ability to spell out five cards picked randomly by a subject without looking at them or prior notice.Also,telepathy may exist between close relative like identical twins or long time best friends.This bond occurs when the parties involved are so close that they are able to tell what the other is thinking or going through.In general,telepathy is instinctive,almost like a mothers intuition.It is sometimes seen as a sensory ability.

In my opinion,telepathy does exist between closely bonded people and though it may seem paranormal or impossible it can sometimes help either party involved when in an emergency or stuck somewhere,working together with coincidence.
Vanessa Bitature

Conflict =0

Conflict is a characteristic of human existence.It is part of the dynamic of life that drives us into the future. But it needs to be managed constructively.When associated with violence,destruction and killing,it is no longer a healthy part of living.Violent conflict solves few problems,creates many,and breeds more unhealthy conflict to come.Conflict has characteristics of its own,and it is possible to analyse its structure and behaviour.When conflict is understood,it's easier to find ways to predict it,prevent it,transform it,and resolve it.



What is conflict? It is the expression of disagreement over something important to both (or all) sides of a dispute.The first important thing to grasp is that it is entirely dependent on the people involved.It depends on their having a particular point of view, which may or may not have independent facts and evidence to support it,and on how they behave when they encounter an opposing point of view.Violence is only one kind of conflict-behaviour,of course.



The structure and process of conflicts are much the same,whether a conflict is between individuals or between groups and nations.The first thing to look for is the immediate cause, the event that triggered it off.Then it's necessary to look for the underlying causes;the state of affairs which makes that explosion likely.It is the underlying causes that are particularly important to understand.

By: Sujatha a/p Sahadevan

Eye communications =)

                Messages that are communicated by the eyes varies depending on the eye behavior.We communicate a lot of messages through eye movement.We can get feedback from other person by using eye movement,for instance when we are talking to someone,we mght look at him/her & glare,as if to say “well,what do you think?”.We can also inform the other person that he can speak now by looking at him/her.For example,when a lecturer ask a question & look at a student randomly,the lecturer conveys the expectation that the student will answer the question,and the student will eventually understand.

              Eye movement also may signal the nature of a relationship,whether positive(an attentive glance)or negative (avoidance).Furthermore,eye contact can also change the physhological distance between ourself and another person.For example,when we catch someone’s eye at partywe will become physchologically close even though you are physically far apart.By avoiding eye contact,even when we are physically close with someone in a crowded elevator will only increase the phsychological distance between us and others.On the contrary,eye movement can also signal lack of interest in a person or a conversation.

By: Sujatha a/p Sahadevan

One of my favourites topics

Interpersonal Relationship can be classified into 3, namely LOVE , PRIMARY RELATIONSHIPS & FAMILIES and FRIENDSHIP.

LOVE. Amor. Pyar. No matter what language you use, it is a subjective topic. It depends on the individual how he/she perceives love as. There are many types of it; Eros, ludic and manic, to name a few. Eros love focuses on the physical attractiveness only. The person who is experiencing this kind of love would go to the extend where qualities of a person do not matter anymore. Ludic love only seeks entertainment, joy, and fun. If the other person is no longer fun, then it's a bye bye. When the relationship loses its spark, then it's time to go for another person. (Pathetic, I know). Manic love is basically to give and receive 24-7 attention and affection. Like most teenagers nowadays do, they tend to control their partners in every single way possible. They call that tender loving care, I call that obsession. For instance, if the boyfriend does not want to do anything to reciprocate the girlfriend's favor, then that is it. The beginning of World War III.

PRIMARY RELATIONSHIPS & FAMILIES. Based on the text book, a primary relationship is a relationship between two people that the partners see as their most important interpersonal relationship. Some families are headed by lesbian or gay couples who live together under the same roof. In the normal culture, the traditional nuclear family also apply to these relationships.

FRIENDSHIP. It can be categorized in 3 parts : Friendship of Reciprocity, Receptivity and Association.

Friendship of Reciprocity : Mutual affection, generosity and self-sacrifice. It is usually what true friends do to each other.

Friendship of Receptivity : The process of giving and receiving is imbalance. One person is a primary giver and the other is a primary receiver. It is not fair, generally. Both the persons should reciprocate.

Friendship of Association : It can be described as a friendly relationship, rather then a true friendship. In other words, the people whom you are dealing with in this category are only known as your casual friends. You don't really trust the person so much, and you don't disclose too much about yourself to the other person as well. For example : neighbours, classmates.

As a friend, I don't really know how to describe friendships in words because it is something that you feel. It is very personal. The best thing about friendship is it is more than saying "Babe, I love you lah". It is totally beyond words. And I literally thank God most of the time for blessing me with such great friends.

"Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship"

                                                          -Oscar Wilde

Nur Raqinah binti Razak

5 Step of Conversation

First step of conversation is "Opening".
we always start a conversation with opening like "hai", "hello", "hey", "morning" etc.
we won't start the topic straightly without opening, because it seems like weird.
actually this step is not only a opening of conversation, it also is a respect to others.

Second step of conversation is "Feedforward".
this step we call a opening of a topic or previews of what we are going to say.
like a warm up before we running or swimming.
we use this step to let people eazier know what we will talk about.

Third step of conversation is "Business".
this step we go through the topic and talk to others with the point of the topic.
we use this step to let people fokus and understand what we are talking or asking.

Fourth step of conversation is "Feedback".
we use this step after we talk something or ask something to others.
we need feedback from the people we talk or ask, maybe respond, maybe reply and also maybe answer.

Last step of conversation is "Closing".
we use this step to close or end a conversation, like "Thank you", "Good Bye" etc.
in the same time we use it to let people know we are going to end this conversation.
again, this step is not only use to end a conversation, it also a respect to others.

This five steps of conversation can let us know more skills of communication when we communication to others.
it can help us to improve our's talking skills and we will learn how to start a good conversation.

by: Tan Yong Wei

I'm sorry I can't find a bombastic term for this title ;)

Principles of Conversation

As we all notice, we literally can't live without communicating. Even a loner communicates. (in his or her own way, that is). Communication allows you to see the world in a different perspective. For instance, I'm not saying that I am an open-minded person or whatsoever, but I have definitely grown for these past few years because I have observed how different types of people communicate. Some of my friends are "rempits" and "pondans" and the way they communicate is really different from the "normal" ones, but because they communicate in a unique way, it made me view the world differently and be less judgmental towards other people. Long story cut short, communication is global and it is very important.

There are 3 Principles of Conversations. One of them is The Principle of Turn-Taking.  It simply means that you have to take turns when you want to talk.That is not hard to understand, right? If the other person is talking his or her mouth out, you listen. As simple as that. (Even though you might want that person to just stop talking -_-)

The second principle of Conversation is The Principle of Dialogue. This type of communication is usually more personal (Example : When a child is talking to his/her mother). This is when bonding of the soul takes place. You talk about deep thoughts and issues such as feelings (which happens to be women's favourite subject). This principle takes place between two people (If it is more than 2 people, it is called conversations).

Last but not least, The Principle of Immediacy. It comes from the word immediate. It means that the instant chemistry that you have with the other person. You can meet millions of people under the sun, but not everyone can click with you, right?
Having chemistry with the other party is not something that you can control, but what you can do is to start communicating. Chemistry between people can be obtained through dialogues, listening to the other person and show affections : Hugs, kisses, french kisses and err, let's not elaborate on that ;) I'm sure you get what I mean.

To wrap it up, communicating is actually a fun thing to do. So, start communicating wisely people!

Nur Raqinah binti Razak

Personal spaces

i heard a sentence from Mr.Murali in the lecture..
"all people need personal spaces, although two people in relationship, and we should realise."
it make me think a matter of my friend...

two weeks ago, my friend post a blog in the web, she write something about her and the guy she like.
she just write the post like have hint meaning, she didn't write in clearly because she don't want let other know.
after a few days, she called me and told me that she is very stress.
she said, "you should update my blog to know my things but don't ask anything."
i reply her, "i know you, i know if you want to tell me you will tell."
she said, "yes, you are right."
she told me many of her friends saw that post and ask her what happen.
she don't want let others know and keep it be a secret.
then her friends will said somethings like "oh..good friend lar....good friend also don't tell us."
she told me that she just need a personal space in her life but not reject concern of friends.
finally she also told me the things about the post.
the guy will be gone oversea to study, but he don't know my friend like him.
So she write about her feeling at the moment and what will she do to put down the guy.
after i heard, i give her some advise.

i totally can understand her feeling and what she told me..
because i am also that kind of person..
sometime we will need some personal space to take out something...
but not all people realise that...
they only will think we like to keep it a sercet don't like to tell them, don't treat them as friend or other...
remember it
whatever relationship you and others into, all people need personal spaces.

by: Tan Yong Wei

Ring

I'm going to talk about engagement ring today

What is mean by engagement ?

An engagement ring is a ring worn by a person that indicates his / her engagement to be married . Furthermore , it represents a formal agreement to future marriage .

Before agreeing to marry , a couple may choose to purchase and wear pre-engagement rings which is called promise rings.After marrying , the couple may wear both engagement rings and wedding rings , as they prefer .

What a beautiful ring is this O.O

Therefore , find ur partner nw and get marry by today ! hahahaha .

By Jun Yan .

Mooncake Festival

Saturday was mooncake festival !

Hooray , almost all relatives gather together on saturday and have fun playing around . Chit-chatting , playing around , laughing etc ..

Ok , back to my topic . Have you guys eaten mooncake before ?? XD

K , this is an image for mooncake ? Is it looks delicious to you ? ^^

There is a long meaning behind Mooncake . The festival is for lunar worship and moon watching . Mooncake are offered between friends , relatives or neighbours on gatherings . Unfortunately , i cant watch the moon because it was raining on that day T_T

Nah , another image for mooncake !

Eye As The Medium Of Communication..

Our eyes can tell millions of story. Agree?? The messages conveyed by our eyes can vary depending on the duration, direction, and the quality of the eye behaviour. For an example, if a person looks into another persons eye for quite sometime, we assume them as lovers, and if a person does not look into the eyes it may mean that he or she is a shy type person or they are just ignoring the person who is talking to them.

As the personal story of mine, eyes played an important role in my relationship. Altough we rarely talk to each another, somehow we got the message that we both are sailling in the same boat by liking each another. It happened so quickly and suprisingly we got the same message. The power of the eye contact that we had is still significant in both of us. Even when i recently asked him what made him attracted to me. And the answer was simply "your eyes, baby". That was when i realised that my eye contact was so strong.

We can also communicate a variety of message through eye movements. For an example, when X does not hear what Z said, X just have to put up his eyebrows and look at Z. Altough no verbal messages are passed, Z understands that he has to say again whatever he said. I believe we went through this situation before.

So, the next time you communicate, remember that your eyes are also telling something. make sure that your eyes and your verbal messages are the same to avoid certain circumstances. Good Luck!!

by:amutha supayah

its all about emotion......

Non-verbal communication play a very important role in our everyday life. Besides that, emotion also has its role in our daily communication. Altough people often explain and reveal emotions verbally, nonverbal expression communicate a great part of your emotional experience. We often express our feelings through facial expression, posture, gesture, eye movements and dilation of your pupil.

Widely, nonverbal messages often help people to communicate unpleasant messages. Writing about this nonverbal communication involving emotion, i personally went through a situation where i had to convey nonverbal messages to a person called K.

All of this happened few weeks ago when K became friends with me and my friends. It was fine at first but as days went, the true color of K started to reveal. And the result was not pleasing.
I was not the only one who realised it. So somehow or rather my friends and i did not feel comfortable with her presence. What we did was, we avoided eye contact with her and we created a big distance between us and her. In short, we disconfirmed her.

I believe we did not hurt her feelings by telling her that we dont like her presence, but somehow she would have understood that something is wrong.

As the whole, we can see that nonverbal messages are very powerfull. It can also help us to pass a message that we or the other party feel uncomfortable about putting it into words.

by:amutha supayah

Comunicating through prayer

Prayer is expressing oneself  to a superior religious diety in the most humblest of ways repenting for when you have offended the All Mighty and giving thanks for all the good things He has provided.When we pray,we basically speak to our selves assuming that the God we are praying to is tuned in.Quite often I ask my self,is prayer not a form of intrapersonal communication?If it really is a form of communication,how come we do not get a direct feed-back?Or does our God communicate back non-verbally?

With prayer one can convince oneself or talk oneself out of doing something or of a situation in the process of expressing you feelings and problems to God.It is also possible that one can provide encouragement for oneself through prayer conversation.

All in all,prayer may be perceived as a form of intrapersonal  communication when taken to deep thought,but may also be a true two way conversation between humble man and God,in which these faithful see God's feedback alsmost as clearly as if they were talking to someone they can see.

Vanessa Bitature

7th Heaven

I have six gorgeous people in my life which I called them best friends. Sya, Moo, Nani, Papahy, Nis and Dee. We’ve known each other for a quite long time. Although six of us are in different universities now, we still contact each other almost every single day. We share pretty much everything in our lives including secrets, problems, sadness, happy moments and etc. Even if one of us is out of the country, we still update each other through phone calls, emails, and messenger. I remembered last time when Sya was having a problem, we all gathered at one place to solve the problem together. Even though Moo was is Australia when it happened, we still called her and make loudspeaker so that she can hear and talk as if she’s also there with us. Because of this closeness that we had, most problems that one of us is going through will make some level of impact on the other members.

Hence, communication is important in interpersonal relationship and it will make the relationship stronger.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

P e r f u m e !

Have you seen this movie before?





The title of this movie is “PERFUME, The Story of The Murderer” by Tom Tykwer, based on the novel “Perfume” by Patrick Süskind. The film tells a story of a murderer who’s in deadly obsession for perfect scent. The murderer, Grenouille has desire to sustain scents forever by killing beautiful virgins. After he killed a woman, he will cut her hair, covered her in animal fat, and then distilling the fat to get the scent. After some experimenting, he realizes that by murdering beautiful virgins and capturing their scents will make him rule the world. Only one drop of the perfume will make the crowd overwhelmed.

If you have already watched this movie, you will understand how intense a perfume could be. It reflects how artifactual communication occurs. Different people have different scent that gives an attraction to others. For example, the scent of romance, sexiness, feminine, sporty, and etc. It reveals personalities of that person.


By: Nadia binti Wahid

The language of love.

Life brings joy,sadness can't conquer.Life and love work hand-in-hand.With the birth of a new child,joy,wholesomeness,faith are hallowed in the air and in heavens.But without love,it may all seem meaningless.First day at school may bring about intrigue,excitment,passion a new way of life,but without love it may be a watse of time in the long run.Friendship may mean happiness,good times,fun,togetherness but without love,it's just an acquaintance.Relationships may mean intimacy,bonding,adaptation but without love,it's just lust.Love means to talk,listen,communicate,feel,learn inspite of other factors.A new born is love when you can listen to what it says and feel it,school is love when you learn,friendship is love when you talk and listen and a relationship is love based on basic utter communication.

                                               "Life is love,Love is Communication!"
Vanessa Bitature

Quarreling

It never was worth while,


So pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag,

And smile, smile, smile.

What's the point of quarreling ? Not worth at all  . Just my 1cent opinion

By

Jun Yan

Anger

Anger is the enemy of non-violence and pride is a monster that swallows it up.

LISTENING AND HEARING

Listen conversation properly before u commenting on others  .

For example :

While u passing by a corridor and u accidentally listened a conversation , u heard "shit"

But actually the person is asking a paper "sheet"

Therefore , do listen and hear to avoid any misunderstandings


By

Jun Yan

Messages vary in Abstraction

Abstraction can be made by deliberating a characterictic or general quality on a specific objects or actual case. It brings out more clearly details, structure and even other aspects.

What can you see in the picture?

Messages vary in abstraction can be seen from a direct message. For example, the picture shows a car. It is a yellow car. A yellow Lamborghini car. And what more can you say about the car?

When you describe about the car, you will describe in a specific term that are concrete. In other words, people do describe things that appear direct in front of their eyes. Different images that come to their minds and thoughts will leads to an abstract term. It includes a specific purpose for effective messages.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

3 words, 8 letters . . .

                                                            
We have all heard the phrase “I LOVE YOU”. I’m sure that all of you have said these 3 words before as a way of expressing your feelings to someone. Can you relate empathic listening to these 3 words?

People always use empathic listening in a conversation with a partner feeling like she or he is receiving a hug or share emotional pain. It sometimes leads to good relationships, emotional affection, and also happy marriages. And of course you can relate the phrase I LOVE YOU with empathic listening. For example, your boyfriend had just lost his dad. He’s having this conversation about his dad’s death with you. As he talks about his dad, his voice turn to fill with sadness and the conversation becomes more painful to him. In this situation, I’m sure that you will start comforting him right? You might say several words such as: "I understand what you’re going through. I feel your pain and also your great love for your dad. Be strong. I LOVE YOU." Knowing that you care and understand what he feels will make him feel better and at the same time, it will leads to good and strong relationship.

Furthermore, you have to be honest and effective when using empathic listening. Otherwise, it would be useless. You wouldn’t want to lie to your girlfriend or wife telling her how much u love her but you actually seeing other girl behind her back. This may leads to confusion and will damage your relationship.

Hence, don’t hurt people’s feelings and use your empathic listening wisely with each other.

By: Nadia binti Wahid

Surface And Depth Listening

we communicate with everyone, everytime, and everywhere. but most of the time we only get the obvious meaning that said by the speaker. in short, theres and an obvious meaning that you can derive from a literal reading of the words and sentences. unfortunately, most of the messages that we use in our every day life have more than one level of meaning. so, listening is very important for us to understand whether we should accept the surface meaning or the depth meaning.

lets see a situation where two friends are communicating :

sarah : jim, how do you like my new tops that i bought in sunway pyramid?
jim    : its nice sarah...
sarah : oh...thank you jim....

at one of view, sarah's question has a clear meaning. but theres another important level, where sarah is asking jim to tell something positive about her new top. hence, this is what we learn as surface and depth listening. sadly, if we fail to engage in any of this listening method, it may lead us to miscommunication.

in regulating surface and depth listening, we have to follow some guidelines which sounds like this :

• focusing on both verbal and nonverbal messages
• listen for both content and relational messages
• make special notes to refer back to the speaker
• dont ever disregard the literal meaning of interpersonal messages

last but not least, we must always know ourselves to engage in surface and depth listening. we might not lnow the importance now, but when time comes we should be able to differentiate the meanings....

by: amutha supayah

Listening Process =)

       The first step in listening effectively is to recognize certain fallacies.The next step is to understand the process.Listening is a complex process because it is an integral part of the total communication process.

      Firstly,speaking and writing (the sending parts of the communication process) are highly visible,and are more easily assessed than listening and reading (the receiving parts). And reading behavior is assessed much more frequently than listening behavior.For instance,we are more often tested on what we read than on what we hear.And when we are tested on material presented in a lecture,generally the lecture has been supplemented by readings.

    Secondly,many of us are not willing to improve our listening skills.Much of this unwillingness results from our incomplete understanding of the process that could help show us how to improve.To understand the listening process,we must first define it.Through the years,alot definitions of listening have been proposed.Perhaps the most useful one defines listening as the process of receiving,attending,and understanding auditory messages;that is, messages transmitted through the medium of sound. Often, the steps of responding and remembering are also included.The process might be diagrammed as shown in figure 1.

   The process moves through the first three steps;receiving,attending,understanding in sequence.Responding and/or remembering may or may not follow.For example,it may be desirable for the listener to respond immediately or to remember the message in order to respond at a later time.At most of the times,of course,no response (at least no verbal response) is required. And the act of remembering may or may not be necessary.For example,if someone tells you to “watch your step,” you have no need to remember the message after you have completed that step.

By: Sujatha Sahadevan

       
 

Symphatic & Emphatic Listening (",)

Symphatic Listening

        In symphatic listening,we care about other person and this is shown when we pay close attention and express our sorrow for their ills and happiness at their joys.When we are a symphatic listener,we can only feel sorry for others and we would not be able to put ourself in their situation.For example,if a teenager were told about a conflict between husbnand and wife,he/she can only be sorry about the matter and he/she could not exactly feel the same as the person who is affected.   

Empathic Listening

       Empathic listening is an organized listening and questioning technique,which helps us develop and enhance relationships through a stronger understanding of what is being conveyed both intellectually and emotionally.In a way,it helps us to take active listening techniques to a new level.Honest and effective use of empathic listening helps us to win the trust of team members,which helps us to find the root cause of certain problems.Sometimes,this ability to see people’s obvious behavior can make the difference between seeming harsh and unsympathetic on one hand,and on the other being humane and well-respected.When we listen empathetically,we go beyond sympathy to seek a truer understand how others are feeling. This requires excellent discrimination and close attention to the emotional signals.When we are being truly empathetic,we actually feel what they are feeling and put ourself in their situation.

Either it is emphatic or symphatic,listen patiently to what other people has to say,before you jump into conclusion.This is because if you were to interrupt other people who are talking,message may get distorted and this will eventually lead to relationship conflicts.

By: Sujatha Sahadevan

HEARING VS LISTENING....

do we hear or do we listen?? i think this is a question that everyone should ask themselves. however this question cannot be answered by most of us, even me.

let us see a situation. assume that you are watching your favourite television program and your friend calls. this is when we can differenciate hearing and listening. and i think most of us do this also. altough you are on the phone, your consentrations are on the television. this is when you hear your friend but you listen to the television. so, see the difference? we may now realise that we do this often without us realising it.

hearing is similar to us breathing. this is because we dont even realise we are doing it. when we listen, we go through 5 different stages. these stages are important as we should notice and take notice of different things at the same time. for an example, you have to see the verbals and nonverbals, take notes, ask questions, identify, and get feedbacks. pretty complex isn't?

hearing could also lead us to miscommunication. this happens when we dont listen to the person who is speaking to us. if a offensive listening takes place we can see ourselves in miscommunication. offensive communication is when we hear only bits and pieces. most of us often do this when a particular lecture is boring or you are not interested on the topic which being discussed. so now we know not to do it.

to sum up, its always better to be a good communicator as well as good listener too. know when to hear and learn when to listen to avoid certain circumstances in the future...

by: amutha supayah

Social networks in communication

Facebook,Twitter,Myspace.These and so many others are taking over cyber communication not only among teenagers,but also among adults for both social and business related issues.These internet hot spots have provided an avenue for age-mates and friends to link up no matter the distance between them and has also eased business transactions through easier publicity and contact with customers far away.

Through such networks one may in a way advertise oneself as one tries to get as many friends as possible by posting statements about themselves like 'I am a lovable,caring,funny person,' regardless of whether the statement is true or false,thus providing the opportunity for them to enjoy high self esteem even though it may not always be the case.

Social networks also help those who find it easier to express themselves more openly through writing.For example,on facebook there is a space where one may write what's on their ming at that moment.This helps releave people's minds of stress and deliver harsh messages in a relatively softer way.Through,social networks,the risk ofmiscommunication is also reduced to an extent because of the absence of non-verbal communication.However,miscommunication may occur when messages are not perceived correctly due to the lack of facial expression or voice tone.

Unfortunately,these networks are sometimes used wrongfully to damage people's reputations and hack into people's accounts to find out personal information about their enemies and so on.
Vanessa Bitature

Dancing as a way of communication.

Dancing is the art of moving one's body in a way that portrays a message,provides physical fitness and relaxation.Dancing has evolved over the centuries from the ballroom dancing of the 18th century and before to the more vigorous dancing today.In the early centuries,the dancing was quite peaceful as the gentlemen swirled the ladies gracefully over the floor.The dancers were also respectful of eachother as there was hardly any ogling from either party during the dancing.

On the other hand,the dancing today is not as peaceful.Dances such as hip hop are all about the complicated steps and ogling style.The types of songs danced to help this situations they are also violent or vulgar in nature.For example,the famous rapper Lil Wayne swears approximately fifteen times in his three minute songs.This kind of music affects its dancers as the will want to swear and be violent to attain the respect their role models feign to attract.

In another light,we see the more traditional dances.Because I am not very familiar with the dancing culture in Malaysia,I will focus on the African native dances of which I am more certain.African dances are performed to express feeling,celebrate or mourn.The Zulu dance among the South Africans is a celebration dance that is performed at wedding ceremonies,the inauguration of a new king or when a war is won.Another example is the Larakaraka dance among the Bagisu of Uganda that celebrates circumcission,thus the transition of a boy into a man.Finally,in Rwanda,the dance is performed basically to show off the beauty and grace of the ladies and the masculinity and agility among the men.

By and large,different dances tell differentmessages.The way we dance may help other determine what kind of personality we may possess.If one dances provocatively,throwing one's limbs in all possible directions the perception made by others about that person may be different from the one who dances feet glued to the ground and hands positioned squarely infront of them.
Vanessa Bitature